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Ever been benched? What about stashed, or breadcrumbed? If you’ve spent time in the online dating world and therefore met a jerk or 10 , it’s likely you’ve been victim to at least one of these behaviours, even if you don’t know what it’s called. Being across the lingo isn’t just about keeping up with the cool kids, it can also be healing and empowering to know what happened to you has a label — and that you’re not alone. Brisbane’s Phoebe Parsons recently had this revelation and she’s been sharing her newfound understanding of dating terms in her podcast on dating.
Get up to speed with our dating glossary to learn a little more about dating behaviours — whether it’s for you or even your teenage kids.
The 21st century dating vernacular is crammed with baffling terminology. From ghosting to breadcrumbing, cushioning to slow fading, it all seems a bit coded. Here we pull apart this peculiar patois and dig a little deeper into meanings. Needless to say, the modern dating vocabulary is replete with a variety of puzzling terms.
Last year, ghosting — abruptly severing all communication with someone after a period of intense and promising contact — was the word du jour. There are also a host of terms that, though not adorned with dictionary status yet , are still used with a fervent zeal. The dreaded friend zone is also another stellar case in point.
Every generation has had its terms of endearment. Sugar, babe and honey have endured. Benching, stashing and catfishing. We know what we feel when we fall in love, we have the language.
They might not text back and be vague about making plans to see you again, all while watching your Instagram stories or leaving you on read on Snapchat. First there was ghosting a term which, believe it or not, has been around since but only got officially added to the Merriam-Webster dictionary in What is there to do if you find yourself a victim of one of the most unfortunate byproducts of modern dating culture? As much as breadcrumbing is absolute torture, there are two quick and effective ways to put an end to it.
The first is to call the breadcrumber out. Still, there is an upside. This frees you from engaging with someone who has quite clearly proven they are not worth your time and energy. The other option is less confrontational but equally effective: blocking the breadcrumber and moving on.
Dating as a millennial can be downright exhausting. I spend my weeks juggling dating apps , waiting for people to text back , and going on a bunch of generally uninspiring dates. As if that wasn’t enough, it seems like a new shitty millennial dating term enters the lexicon every day. It’s just too much to keep up with. But you know as well as I do that keeping track of these ridiculous terms is a necessary evil, so I’ve decided to write them down and share them with you.
What You Need to Know About Breadcrumbing Red Flags to Look Out lexicon due to the prevalence of dating apps like Tinder and Bumble.
The deceptively cuddly term describes the act of leading someone on by contacting them intermittently — be that by phone or social media — to keep them interested. The digital era may have been considered by some as a devastating blow for human interaction, but social media has paradoxically turned out to have a powerful influence on the very human emotions that at one time technology was thought to suppress. Nowhere is this more true than in online dating, where at the touch of a button people can instantly toy with the feelings of others.
Cloaked in the appealing mantle of the word breadcrumbing , this is one of the latest in an ever-growing catalogue of ways to take a virtual stab at someone’s heart. Breadcrumbing is the activity of sending brief and sporadic messages, digital morsels such as short text messages, Facebook posts or Instagram likes, which indicate that you still like someone, when in reality you’re unlikely to meet up with them ever again, let alone pursue a full-blown relationship with them.
The issue for the perpetrator, aka the breadcrumber , is that they can’t quite bring themselves to cut off contact with the other person completely, or resist hedging their bets with them by throwing out wee ‘crumbs’ of interest to remind the recipient of their existence and keep their hopes up. Classic examples of breadcrumbing include vaguely alluding to future events — ‘We’ll do that some time …’ — and never following through with a concrete plan, or ignoring someone’s messages for a long period of time and then suddenly popping up out-of-the-blue without any acknowledgement of absence.
Though primarily associated with romantic relationships, breadcrumbing is sometimes associated with friendship too — like those false promises to meet up made by people who can’t quite bear to drop out of another person’s radar. There’s no doubt that the internet has expanded the set of options for those of us in search of romance, and with it, especially in the past twelve months, the glossary of terms to describe rejection.
The use of breadcrumbing in the context of online dating hit the popular consciousness in the past year or so, but is in fact not the first metaphorical interpretation of the word in the digital era. In the late nineties, breadcrumbing began to be used as a way of referring to the now familiar representation sometimes displayed when navigating a website, which shows the path of web pages a person has visited e. Both earlier and later uses are based on the idea of ‘leaving a trail’, taking inspiration from the classic fairytale of Hansel and Gretel , who left a trail of breadcrumbs to help them find their way out of the forest.
Read last month’s BuzzWord.
The secret language of modern dating, from catfishing to gaslighting
Modern dating can be a minefield. In light of this, one might call this a callous confession: I am a serial breadcrumber. A cheeky exchange can be the perfect pick-me-up after a bad first date. And a quick sext a few glasses of wine into Friday night can be a welcome ego boost.
breadcrumbing. noun [uncountable]. in online dating, sending messages which suggest that you’re still interested in someone, when in fact.
Breadcrumbing is a slow and painful death of a relationship, whereas ghosting makes it clear — eventually — that the person is gone. What is breadcrumbing, first of all? Plenty of relationships have had this particular phenomenon occur. Are you getting messages from them every once in a while, but not consistently? They always seem to have a vague message to them, but you never really know what they mean.
They say that you should hang out soon, but never make concrete plans.
Meet Women in Trap, Carmarthenshire on FirstMet – Online Dating Made Easy!
It is harder today to be single than ever before. We may have more choices with online dating, but it comes with the landmine of bad dating activity. The artificial environment created by online has brought forth some crude dating behaviors. Dating scenario: This typically occurs before the first meet up. Thereby keeping you hooked, or on the bench. Get ready to play if coach decides to put you in.
Breadcrumbing is a disturbing trend in online dating. Being strung along in the 21st Century means having to deal with inconsistent messages, intermittent likes on your social media, and being uncertain about whether someone is actually interested in you. If ghosting is where someone will disappear with no communication, breadcrumbing is where someone will string a potential match along, keeping them on the hook with little compliments and messages, even though they have no intention of ever letting things develop into an actual relationship.
This can be because they want someone as a back-up, or just because they like having some extra attention to boost their ego. Breadcrumbing is always low-effort on the part of whoever is sending the messages. Breadcrumbing is defined by inconsistent messages, sent at random times, days, weeks, or even months apart. This gives them a chance to correct their behaviour and actually meet you. Honest and clear communication is the fastest way to ensure that everyone knows where they stand.
Read more about why you should be honest about what you want on dating apps. If you always reply to their messages, mix things up and make them wait for a change. Cutting someone off might be the best move, and will almost certainly be better for you in the long-run. The Truth.